My Mental Holiday

What happens when a young, dedicated and focused mother of two, wannabe-triathlete goes on vacation with her family...starts dealing with a minor-injury....finds herself surrounded by opportunities to have time to herself......in unknown territory........

She falls off the band wagon!

With a full year of Ironman training last year, I took a total of 3 mental health days. Three days in which I wasn't injured, I wasn't sick, and I wasn't supposed to have the day off, and I said... Nope... I'm just not doing this today.

I take my training very seriously. Honestly, because I love it! I am excited on Sunday's to see my next week's schedule! I look at long rides and long runs as fun opportunities, never dreading them. I try to focus each day and each workout on meeting my goals.

So far this year I don't think I've missed one workout because I just didn't do it. I have moved the occasional swim to another day, and I've obviously missed workouts due to illness or injury. But despite my trips to Park City, Florida, Hawaii, etc... I have been sure to continue with my schedule unless I was sick. :)

Even after races when you have those "Do what you want weeks" my mind is always still so consumed with triathlon. I think so much about my race, what I should have done, what I want to do to improve, and what I hope to do next time. I take time to let my body heal, but the mind just keeps on with TRI, TRI, TRI!

I honestly don't get a whole lot of days off. Jen likes to give me easy days with just a swim and stuff, but probably because I'm so busy all of the time, I'll go weeks without one. Again... no big deal. I'm completely fine with that. I'm sure most of the pros and such don't take many days off. But as Jen has told me recently, I really need to work on my recovery. I know most of you mom's out there are the same way... "Off" days are days to catch-up on everything else. Then the rest of my life is crammed in around workouts. Summer time has been busy too trying to juggle the workouts around doing fun things with the kids. We've been gone a lot as well.

Basically... I got out here with my day-off spent riding in the car for 13+ hours. Did a brick on Saturday that was not the most pleasant. Tried to do a little something on Sunday because my foot was bothering me so, and I got really worried about it. Went to Kellie's gym and swam on Monday. Decided on Tuesday that I did not feel like tackling a 2 hour ride in the heat (you wake up to 90 around here) and either on horrible bumpy roads or in full-blown traffic in unfamiliar territory and spent the time on my trainer instead. I couldn't even hear my movie on my laptop either, so the entire time was spent with me on headphones attached to my computer... and me attached to my trainer. NOT the best of situations.

So when I woke up on Wednesday, took my kids to a movie, and then sent them off to grandmas for the night... I just couldn't bring myself to go workout.

I was done... My brain said... nope.... your foot feels better, you're not sick, but you're sick of Go, Go, Go...

The next 30 hours were all mine. To lounge by the pool, shop, go eat at a nice restaurant, go to bed early, sleep late, and do whatever I felt like doing. Without rushing home and constantly recalculating what I owed the babysitter because time kept creeping away from me.

I guess I really needed a vacation. A real one. A little mini-vacation away from triathlon. I finally gathered the courage to email Jen last night about it. Tell her I hadn't done my workouts and not only that, but I didn't want to do my long ride today either. I wasn't afraid of her being mad at me, I just didn't want her to be disappointed or think of me as weak and not being able to handle the load she'd been giving me. I love her plan for me! It's challenging and I want to keep it that way!

Of course she emailed me right back being as nice as ever and letting me know everything was fine. She really is wonderful! She deals with the athlete in me as well as the mom, wife, and the neurotic side of me as well!

So I will not be riding my bike for a long time today in the heat, lost, bumpy roads. Instead... I'll be going for coffee and a bagel here in a second and then lounging by the pool and reading until my kiddos get back from the cabin. The amount of fitness I'll lose from my several days off will hopefully be replaced by some mental strength instead. For me... my head needs as much work as my body! :)

Thanks for reading!
K