It's All Relative

As the Olympics are less than one week away, and race season is entering into it's last phases, I've been thinking a lot about competition lately. Not only is it presented in a formal way through races and contests, but it is also a very big part of our daily lives.

We all face competition each and every day. No matter what realm of life you are in.

There is competition at work as to who's at what level, who makes more money or get's the most bonuses, or even who is recognized the most for awards and such.

There is competition amongst neighbors... who has the best yard, the biggest house, the nicest decorations or a pool in the backyard.

Competition between moms... Oh... this is a BIG one! Nothing is funnier than sitting with a group of moms, especially new ones, and "talking"/comparing who's kid sleeps the longest, eats the most vegetables, watches the smallest amount of t.v., drinks the smallest amount of juice, etc!

So what do you do if your life revolves around competition because that is what you do for a living... like being a professional athlete and your job is to compete? Or even if you race as your hobby, and spend just about all of your free time training?

Now I'm not saying that a competitive spirit is bad... There are people who are more competitive than others, and I have always considered myself to be a competitive person, but at what point does it cross the line?

Here's the negative side of competitiveness... the idea of comparison. It's the nature of the game. Being competitive means you are striving to beat "x". Here you can insert what you like for "x". Maybe it's a particular time or person, but that is where the focus lies. And there is nothing wrong with being driven through these motives. Pushing yourself a little harder so you can catch someone or hope to not get caught yourself, but what happens when it doesn't work out the way you'd hoped?

If you go to the Olympics and give your absolute 100% but don't place, does that mean that the other people are better competitors than you? I don't think so. Yeah, you are all racing on the same day in the same conditions, but it's all relative. The same applies to our own competitions in our own daily lives.

There are 1000 + things that affect each of our lives individually. Some of us have kids, some have more than one, two, or more and each of those change the dynamics of our lives. Some of us have coaches, and each of our coaches are different with their different dynamics and strategies. What if all you do is train in hot weather, but then you race in the cold? What if you go out there and you're coming down with a cold and don't even realize it?

I can guarantee that each of us have our own varying levels of support. Some get more emotional, physical, financial support than others. Some of us have more resources or even experience to get a better job or be a little more together as a mother.

And a lot of times it comes down to who you know... or being in the right place at the right time and meeting the right people who will take you down the path you need.

You can sometimes call these excuses, but they're only excuses if they hold you back. A lot of times it is just sheer fact, and as long as you go out and give that 100%. That is what matters the most!

My point is just because you go out there and you get beat on one particular day or during one particular workout... that does not mean that the other person is better than you. They may have been better than you at that moment, but we shouldn't label it as that one competition declares who is the better athlete/worker/mother/whatever in life.

If you go back and look at any division of triathlon races it's a crap-shoot of the best athletes. Why? Because it's relative to who shows up that day. So you say, well that's why we have the World Championships, but isn't that relative as well? Chrissie Wellington won last year and had an amazing race, but Michellie Jones and several other high quality competitors weren't able to finish that day. Does that mean she is a better athlete than the rest? No... it means she had a better day that day than the others.

If you look at this same concept but on a more personal scale for us all, the same applies. I can't tell you how many times I've been out riding with others, swimming, running, etc when you suddenly realize you're in a competition with someone. Someone has decided to turn it into a sort of race and you've got to make some decisions. Do you go for it? Here's the thing to remember about all of that... you have NO idea what that person is out there doing and what they're goals are, what they've been training for, and what they're coming into that workout with.

Just because you're out there beating everyone in the group on a particular ride, or heck... even every ride, that does not make you the better cyclist. Because what if all of the other people ride that ride after they've just run 5 miles and you didn't. What if some of those people had been training in an incredibly tough week that week and their legs are trashed. What if their coach has told them to stay in zone 2 on that ride no matter what.

I don't have a problem going out with others and having a little friendly competition during a workout to make it fun and mix it up a bit. But if your ego get's stroked because you just beat someone doing some little workout or what not... then I'm afraid to say that I think ultimately you are the loser most likely!

Here's the thing... there are many different levels of training for not only triathlon, but just about any sport....

There's.......
I show up and have fun and don't care or even take notice of my pace/hr/ speed is
(And watch out for these people... sometimes people care a whole lot more than they let on)
I like it, I have fun, and I ultimately want to get better but this certainly isn't a priority.
It's a hobby, but it's an important part of my life and therefore I take it seriously to the best of my ability
I'm training to go pro one day, and this is a big part of my life
I am a pro, and this IS my life!

And another big factor to consider in all of this when speaking of comparing ourselves is that I have come to learn that people LIE! Yes...that's right... a lot of people lie. It's crazy. It must be some sort of mental thing, and sometimes, it's not as much lying as it is exaggerating. But it's true. People will tell you they've been training a ton of hours, when in fact it may not be as much as they say. Or I often find people will downplay what they've done so it seems like they are just naturally capable of doing these things. So keep this in mind when you've got that whole comparing thing going on in your head.

So I know I'm WAY up on my soap box, but I'll try to wrap it up and get to my major points... :)
1. The message for workouts and races is take it for what it is. We ourselves don't need to get wrapped up in the negative side of comparison beating ourselves up over one episode or even several. There are 2 things that each of us can do individually to be sure we never have anything to be upset about... #1 Be consistent. Consistency is always the winner. Everyone is beatable. Tiger Woods can be beaten, but what makes him one of the greatest is that he can go out there and deliver the majority of the time. And THAT should be our goal. We shouldn't get wrapped up around the one, two, or three times things don't go our way. And everyone is allowed to be proud of their accomplishments, but don't get all big-headed over a few circumstances, because chances are... they'll come back and bite you in the ass!

2. No matter what your passion is... work, golf, playing guitar, or triathlon and no matter at what level people are training and competing... chances are if they're doing it it's because they love it, and therefore they take it personally and it shouldn't be downplayed by others. Everyone is allowed to have their "thing" and when you're with them and participating in it with them, be a good sport! Don't be that guy that get's an A on a report and when someone says something about your efforts involved in it, you're like "Oh... and I only spent 30 min on it!" when you know you're talking to someone that worked on one for 10 days and got a C. Don't be on the golf course and if someone says, "Wow... that was a great swing! That's really far. Where did you learn to do that?" You respond with, "Oh... I've just been hitting a few a couple of times every few months and it just seems I always hit it that far." When you know you're talking to someone that takes weekly golf lessons because they're desperately trying to get better. And don't be the person that talks about how easy a workout is after it's done unless everyone was supposed to be in zone 1! When people are together and working their butts off, the last thing they want to hear from someone is how easy that just was. You can say, "Wow... I felt good today! And even though that was tough... it was fun!" But don't chalk it off!! Because that underplays what the other people just did, and that's just rude!

Sometimes it's ok to feed into other people's emotions. Example... I ran the Atlanta ING 1/2 marathon in March and afterwards was discussing it with someone else who had run the race. I ran it fairly hard and therefore it was certainly NOT an easy run, but I particularly really like the course. I honestly don't think the course in and of itself is super crazy hard. It's hilly, but not overwhelmingly so I don't think. Well this particular person says something to me along the lines of how hard she thought the course was and how she had a good run, but she thought it was really hard. Now what was I to say to her... "Really??? You are saying you really struggled out there and worked your butt off and thought it was tough? Well I personally found it to be a piece of cake so what the heck is wrong with you?" NO!! I did the appropriate thing and said, "Yeah... it was pretty tough wasn't it!" Because that was my way of validating her feelings and it didn't matter whatsoever!

Ok... so I know I'm rambling, but it's been bothering me for some time and I thought I'd write about it because my point is.....You do not know what it is like to walk in other people's shoes!! So DO NOT make comments about if someone is a bad mother or a slow runner or lazy at work because the simple fact of the matter is you really don't know WHAT the deal is, so you shouldn't be judging!!

And to all of our own individual selves remember this as well because you shouldn't compare yourself to others. It's just not fair to yourself!!

Sorry for the rant! It's been awhile, and I'm done now I promise!! :)
K